Three months into being thirty.
Everyone told me your 30’s were better than your 20’s and I doubted them.
I still have my doubts.
But here’s the thing, the clarity for what I want out of my life has also become too loud to ignore. There are things I cannot control, someone I cared a lot about once told me about the locus of control, and I found it confusing. At first.
The truth is, there are things that we can control, so many things. There are also things we have no control over. And that’s what I’m learning to let go off. It’s coming easier than it has before, maybe once you hit thirty your bullshit tolerance drops, maybe you just learn to not give a fuck based on experience.
I’m not sure the magical and mystical source of this change but even still it hasn’t come easy. There are things I wish I could control, that I pretend don’t matter, and that’s ultimately only ended up being detrimental in the long run.
What can I control? How I experience my life. How I live my life. Who I keep around me. How I learn and grow. How I see myself. How I value myself. What I will bend on. What I won’t bend on. My principles. The effort I put into things.
My life is already beautiful. It’s more about Spring cleaning at this point.
Do you struggle giving up control? Or having too many fucks? What’s your favourite thing about your life?